I was twenty minutes early for my one o'clock appointment so I found a shady spot in the parking lot of the upscale chain motel, kept the engine running to power the air-conditioner on the warm Sunday afternoon, took a few deep breaths and tried to relax. My mind wondered back over the series of events that brought me here. The "here" I speak of was at the very cusp of a new sexual adventure; my first ever experience with a transsexual. For a middle aged straight guy with absolutely no gay experiences, experimental or otherwise, this was strange territory indeed for me.
I say that I am middle aged, but to be accurate, unless I am wildly optimistic about what my final age will be, I am fairly certain that I'm well past the mid-point of my allotted time here. I am well educated with two post-graduate degrees. And I'm generally considered attractive - standing six feet tall and a lean, compact one hundred and seventy five pounds.
I still have a full head of light brown hair with just a few flecks of gray. In most things I am cautious and usually pretty rational and consistent in my behavior. I say "usually" pretty rational and consistent because every four to six months or so, I go through an intense period of heightened sexual tension that borders on obsession. I think of these periods as my own personal "Amok Time," a period in which my rationality is almost completely subordinated to an overwhelming need for a particular sort of sexual satisfaction.
It doesn't happen all at once. It builds up over time until it finally reaches a critical stage. At first, I begin to spend more and more time thinking and fantasizing about sex. During the work day, I spend increasing amounts of time lost in sexual thoughts and ideas. At night, I can't sleep without some chemical assistance - usually an Ambien and glass of wine does the trick. I begin to spend more and more time on the internet, looking at my favorite tried and true erotic sites and searching for new ones. I know that I've reached the critical stage when I find myself masturbating two or three times a day and still not sating the fires.
