Alone at home

She finally stopped crying. She said: "Have you been doing this every time we are out?!". I moved my head side to side, signaling a no as and answer. "Don't lie to me!" she said. I mustered the courage to speak. I said: "I just bought them today, this is my first and only time". I showed her the receipt.
She told me to stand up. I did it while covering my thong with my shirt. "Drop that shirt!", she said. So I did. She looked at me again, and started to cry again, but soon hold her tears. I was vulnerable, standing there with my pink thong all wet, in front of my mom. She said: "Give me those panties. All of them!, do you have more? She started throwing my clothes out of the closet, going through my desk searching for something suspicious. Finally, she took my thongs and said: "This was last time, did you hear me?!. She left, slowly.. I could hear her sobbing after she left.

We didn't speak in those days. Then dad came home. He and my mom had a long talk. I went to my room, I didn't wanna hear them, I was so embarrassed and full of guilt. My dad came in. He told me that I shouldn't be watching porn and masturbating, and started citing the consequences of it. I was puzzled. I though I was going to be yelled at for being a faggot. Turns out my mom didn't give Dad the details, to cover up for me.

Things between my mom didn't heal. The conversation was kept at minimum. She pretended that everything was alright when the hole family was together. Eventually my time to move from home came when I started college, and was time to say good bye to the family. Only thing mom said was: "You be good!".

Now, living on my own after some years. I bought all the panties I want, bras, pads, clothing and I wear them at home everyday. Only wearing men's clothing to go out, to meet friends or work, though underneath I wear panties. Regularly shave my entire body, and am learning make up to look more femenine. I also bought some toys, like buttplugs and dildos, small at first, and getting bigger with time. I haven't had I real man yet, but I won't lie that I fantasize about it often.

I feel bad because my mom was never the same after that. But I am a grown up now, I have to choose how to live my life.

Sara M.